Scratch

badalte sikke…

jyotika — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 11:40:16 +0000

seedhiyon k theek beech mein baitha hun,
daayin aur upar chadhte logon ko dekhta hun,
tez chaal,josh bhara hai,
aankhon mein umeed k baadal hain,
jo lagta hai kisi pahaad ki chotti tak pahunchenge,
aur phir barsenge…

baayin aur, neeche utarte log hain…
thake maande shareer,
maayus chehre hain,
jaan padta hai ki bas pahaad ki chotti tak pahunchkar,
barasne ki der thi,
ki kambakhat kaali ghataon ne rukh badal liya..

pehli seedhi hai..
khota sikka, abhi abhi bhari mann se,
seedhiyan utarte utarte pehli seedhi tak phuncha hai..
wahin daayin aur, khara sikka apni udaan k liye tayaar hai,
pag dharne se pehle, muskurakar khote sikke se kaha…
maayus kyun ho bhai!! utaar chadhaav toh chalta hai,
zindagi hai…lambi hai..kamar kas lo..abhi bahut chalna hai…

khote sikke ne bina nazarein uthaaye jawaab diya,
bhai..tum badho, tumhare din hain..
meri pehchaan kara di gayi hai..
khota hun..
ab kahaan chalunga!!!
aur ghash khakar wahin seedhiyon par baith gaya..

khare sikke ne uchhal uchhal kar seedhiya naapi,
aur mujhtak phunchkar dum bhara..
meri aur dekha aur kaha..
bhai, tum bhi chalo,uppar badho ya neeche utaro..
naam kya hai, yeh toh kaho!!

bazaar..naam hai,
tum chale chalo..
tum badhte ho toh main,
baithe bithaye hi uppar phunch jaata hun..
phir khote sikke ki aur nazar ghumayi..
aur jab tum utarte ho,
toh main dheela padh jaata hun,
kuch der k liye hi sahi…..
aakhir rasmein toh nibhaani hongi…..

jyotika

guftagu coat ki :)

jyotika — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 13:17:38 +0000

jab usne mujhe khareeda tha,
main bahut khush nahi tha,
jaanta tha ki woh ek chhaatr hai..
aur mujhe yeh kataye umeed nahi thi,
ki maatr teen baar se zada aanewaale teen saalon mein
mujhe dhoop dekhne ko milegi…
khair…
phir yeh din aaya,
abhi subha ke kuch 5 hi baje honge
aur main neend se ungh raha tha..ki achanak
uske haathon ke sparsh se meri neend tuti..
main bokhlaya..magar isse pehle ki kuch kehta,
usne hanger samet mujhe bagal mein rakhi,
kursi par de maara…
phir ek taktaki lagaye mujhe nihaarta rha,

kuch aadhe ghante ke shodh ke baad,
woh meri aur badha,
iss baar narmi se pesh aaya..
kursi se uthaya,
ek brush ke saath saaf kiya,
collar seedhe kiye,
aur phir pyar se wapis kursi par rakh diya..
ab jooton ki baari thi..
mere rang se hubahu milte hue joote the..
rangon ke maamle mein,
mere khareedaar ki nazar paeni hai..
yeh main bhi maanta hun..
toh un jooton ko polish kar
mere saath saja dhaja kar rakh diya..
kuch aur ghante main yun hi
kursi par tankar baitha rha..
aur woh saamne bistar par leta tha,
ek khoobsurat se gehre kaale rang ki file
uske daayin aur padi thi..
aankhein upar chhat par ghadaaue hua tha..
ya khuli aankhon se so rha tha,
ya kuch soch rha tha,
shayad aaj interview ka pehla din hai….

jyotika

P.S. Thank you Kewal Gala for letting me use this photgraph of yours

hungry :(

jyotika — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 11:51:29 +0000

it’s 4p.m..i haven’t had my lunch yet..Breakfast??No, not even that.what’s the matter?Unaware of it at the moment but as everyone says..can make up one in seconds..Dieting??doesn’t suit me..next option okay allow me to declare myself as a lazy bum..there’s nothing edible around..nearest food joint is at a distance of 10 minutes..m sitting at first floor..to reach to my activa i have to descend some 20 odd stairs..would have to lock the office as i had declared a holiday today(the government has declared actually ) but later sometime last evening i got a text from my head office that school should be kept open!!!Damn it i thought its 60th REPUBLIC DAY of India..seems there answer is who cares!!!anyways m yet to get a valid reason for opening the school on a govt. declared holiday..so i tried to be this large-hearted girl and have come to my office without informing rest of my staff and faculty..Reason? well i don’t wish to screw their off..yes that’s the reason and i guess pretty valid one.i haven’t even called my office boys and have entered into my office using the spare keys.so it’s just me at the moment in my office..and it’s almost 4:30 now..my stomach is giving me warnings that if i didn’t fetch it anything in next ten minutes it wouldn’t let me go home!!I wish i was obedient..Well you see not entirely my fault..what kind of person eat at a food joint alone!1all by himself .I dread that..just can’t do it..so what m i going to do now? yet to figure out..i wish for this moment i had a boyfriend ,at least just as his routine stuff he would have called me up and asked me where m i and what m i doing??me at office ALONE..m sure he would have landed straight at my office with food and few mischievous plans ..anyways m more interested in the food part..But nothing is coming and m tired of my imagination now…thanx for reading total waste..if anyone has read it..

if you could hurt me more..

jyotika — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 10:29:54 +0000

you didn’t intend to hurt me with you cruel but carelessly spoken words..i didn’t take them to heart either;i tried not to..but now when i have not much to do with my life..or probably when i want to celebrate the rejection and abstention, m forcing myself to ponder deep into the statement once made by you..how brutally I want that there should be some truth in it..my altar ego questions..won’t it cut you into pieces??certainly it should still i want to feel abandoned and forsaken…may be that would give me enough reasons to forget you..thank you for explaining me so well the consequences of letting one’s defenses down..i can promise history shall not be repeated..but only if you could hurt me more severely….

shade of a tree..

jyotika — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 14:09:59 +0000

tree 1- i see that girl she sits under your shade everyday, she sat just once under me.why?she’s a pretty girl and i love her too..just as you do..

tree 2- (smiled) i am in love with her and you love her..you want to caress her body so you bribe the breeze to shower her with all your flowers..i want to caress her soul so i instruct the breeze to flow calmly and as normally as it would on any other day..she’s already suffering from violence of human existence..she’s in-search of peace… Your embrace awakens her from sleep and she suffers again..My embrace doesn’t awaken the stillness from her sleep but stimulate her to the beauty of universe……and she’s elevated…

Imagine…….

jyotika — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 11:22:57 +0000

Imagine,
m there with you
imagine,
m smiling to your blues
imagine
m gazing at you for so long
imagine
to each other forever we belong
imagine
we walking on a lonely road
imagine
the night is dark and wind is cold
imagine
we are so close that cold breeze has turned warm

Imagine
we lying on the beach,
eyes up on the sky,thinking all wild and feeling the heat
imagine
a sudden splash of water on our face
as if sea is embarrassed by our thoughts
and we are caught off guard
imagine
we feel sheepish and absurd
and then our hysterical laughs
fill that space

Imagine
we climbing up to the hill
imagine
we playing push and pull
imagine
m running all around
and you are scared that
if m lost,can’t be found
imagine
m still humming my tune
imagine
u catch me and I frown
imagine
I push you to the ground
and then as always
I laugh with that hysterical sound

Imagine
m all quiet and have calmed down
imagine
m resting my head on your shoulder
and enjoying the silence
imagine
you gently pulling me closer
and feeling my breathe on your face
imagine there’s an awkward peace and reticence between us
imagine
at that moment
you passionately steal a kiss
and next thing you know
that imagination is over
and i have flown away
m gone for ever..and ever

…………

jyotika

i love when it rains :)

jyotika — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 13:03:34 +0000

a- u allrite?

b- hmm..

a-(looks up to the sky) i think it’ll rain today..

b- hmm..

a-(turns his face towards her) you love to get drenched in rain..don’t you!!

b-i love many things..i love to cry..i love heartache..i love when people pity me..i love when i am left alone..i love when friends abandon me..i love it when someone crushes my heart…i love…

a- ( pulls her closer and gently strokes her cheek ) can i kiss you?

b- i hate it when m asked questions..

a- (smiles,gazed lovingly into her eyes and then kissed her affectionately)

b-(she kissed him back) yes i love to get drenched in rain…(smiles) i love you…

a- (huggs her)love you too.

haven’t found him yet

jyotika — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 06:22:44 +0000

like an envelop,

he embrace n enfolds me in his arms,

whenever i feel blue or i cry…..

with his kiss,

i feel safe,

and i just love to get locked in his gaze

,i love him without regret,

i just haven’t found him yet…

alzheimer ;)

jyotika — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:52:20 +0000

A- excuse me!! ummm..u..u work here..miss?

B- (smiles) so what does the doctor says?is it curable ?

A- gives her an utterly amazed look..

B-Alzheimer!! (laughs) I took an order of one black coffee and a hot brownie, just 2 hours ago from you!!

A- umm..yeah..i know..m so sorry..just couldn’t think of anything better.. (chuckles).

B- hmm.. So where do YOU work..Mr?

A- i work at a local government hospital, i am a junior doctor.

B- Junior Doctor!!so you are a doctor!!nice.

A- you are not a localite !are you?

B- no m not.m here to do my internship with Gaia Association.i hope you know about it.

A- heard of it.

B- it promotes the use of alcohol fuels as household cooking energy for low-income urban households and refugee camps.On weekends i work here.

A-use of alcohol as fuel!!intresting !!since when are you working here?

B- it’s been almost a month now.just 2 more months to go. (smiles)but i must say, in such a short span of time this town has won my heart.I just love the spaghetti like streets,running in all directions.buildings painted in hues of autumn colours.children running and playing all over on the street,some selling tobacco and some flowers, with a smile on their face and a twinkle in their eyes.They refused to be bogged down by the demon of poverty.dogs are playing see- saw on the road with the pedestrians and motors.herds of cattle’s blocking the street every now and then.town has everything that can force you to wear a depressive face throughout the day yet harmony persists.life is a struggle,for them who choose to live and not just exist.the one who has walked bare feet for years under the scorching sun or in cold and freezing winters,knows the importance of a pair of shoes and it’s real value too.life is constantly lashing out at people of the town but they are mocking life itself by dancing and singing their blues away.smile indeed cost nothing but it is worth a million,i just learnt it here.

A- was i living in the same town?i never saw these hues of life here!

B- happens (smiles)…oh!! wt time is it?

A- it’s 18:30.. why?

B- aaahhh..my mom must be waiting.i call her every sunday at 18:00..m sorry i have to rush.

A- okay..i wonder if you would go for a movie with me..next sunday!!

B- i don’t know you!

A-neither do i know myself..i have just realised but m more interested in knowing you,if you don’t mind.

B- smiles

A- and hey! i think it is curable!!

B- what?

A- alzheimer..just keep meeting me..(chuckles)

B- you know,i think i suffer from it too…so just keep reminding me..bye for now..

a walk to remember :)

jyotika — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:08:13 +0000

B- i don’t like M..

A- he doesn’t care..

B- i know that!! it seems C is dating him and she’s too young to understand it.

A- to understand what?C is a 19-year-old girl! M and C are college-mates and friends for the past 2 years.for the first time, i am hearing this that you disapprove of M!!

B- yes because i have just found out that he’s dating C.

A- you have found that out or you have been told?

B- the same thing!!

A- no..of course not!! If C herself has told you about it then it is so obvious that she is a mature girl, she trusts you and doesn’t want to hide anything from you! and she is just dating him..stay calm,don’t burst like a volcano over such a petty issue..let her grow naturally and see this world the way she wants too..don’t judge her so harshly!!

B- you think i am being too critical?

A- i would just say that as a parent we have to give two things to our kids..roots and wings..you have provided them with strong roots, now is the time to give them wings and let them fly.I know, giving them wings is difficult than giving them roots but you have to understand that there wings are fully developed now, if you hold them back ,they would break free at any point of time and might not come back to you.that’ll hurt you!!

B- (sighs)..very much..

A- so stop worrying about her so much..and by the way u were all of 17 when that ‘free spirited’ types was dating you(chuckles)…i wonder if your mother liked him?

B- (giggles) liked him!!!she would have died instantly if she had found out that her daughter has lost her virginity before marriage…(laughs)

A- i think she wouldn’t survive a heart attack if i tell this to her even today…

B- (smiles )don’t be mean now.. (reaches home)

A- (to C) hi baby…going out?

C- naa..just trying this new dress,mom has bought it for me..howz it looking?

A- very nice.. (smiles)

C- thanks dad..my mom is the best(hugs her) uhhhh but m feeling hungry..

A- yeah..after the walk!! me too..what are we eating tonight sweetheart!!

B- whatever you’ll cook honey..

every one laughs……